Tuesday, February 08, 2005
-The one with the Aimless and a complete Dork-
You know, i feel redundant now.
Its a feeling that i never thought i would have but actually once you start working, you feel awkward when you stop. The most ridiculous thing is, it happens even when your job totally stinks, like yours ass truely.
But then again, i didnt know why but i left my workplace with a sense of guilt lingered with that sense of helplessness. It was after of course, meeting my new friends who decided to drop out of school young but could still be ever so nice to converse with me throughout in mandrin instead of their fluent dialect. I always wanted to probe and invite confessions from them of influences that affected their decisions, but i always didnt dare or rather, thought i was still undeserving to know. They have obviously roughed it out in this world much longer than i did. Should i have tried? But am i to determine which path is the best to take? Sure i have the best excuse that we live in one of the most stressed up countries, yet the heart of everyone is distinct in nature, the only thing that can counter the waves of the mind. Is simplicity and aimless-ness too, a way of happy life that does not bring any regrets and disappointments? Wells obviously im asking now only because im afraid to ever think of taking such a route myself, fear is such an epidemic.
I was meeting my friend yesterday at the neighbourhood shopping center, saw him sitting inside macs and writing, recongnised his small scrawny handwriting and hence sat down, snatched the card he was writing on and shouted 'hey bastard!', waiting for his reply of mr-bitch with glee... Only to realise it wasnt him. He was almost boiling. I was so embarassed i wanted to dig a hole, then ask mr copperfield himself to perform a diappearing act for me. FOREVER. Oh my god that moment is now in my top ten list of my most embarassing moments. The rest of the nine i cant remember, but im so sure with my own stupidity that it will really not take long before they all come rushing over to me. Bahh.
Its chinese new yr's eve. Cant wait for dinner. And the toni morrison book which i will read over the night, accompanied by the calls to friends so that i can be kept awake for as long as i can tonight. Thinkin bout the date, its exactly a month or less till we get our results. Im so scared i cannot stop thinking about it. Sigh. Time flies so fast, i can still remember the time when Ms Sabariah was so excited and happy about the comprehension we were doing cause it was ever so witty, so well written. She must had little time to ever read books then i guess. I also heard that a teacher i really hated is actually hated by the entire teacher's department too! That back-stabbing bitch or so i heard. Now that's a plus point to start the lunar new year with Haha. :|
Written fashion may not be history @3:40 PM
