Wednesday, December 01, 2004
-Wired up with the number game-
To tell you the truth, i did not fancy 2004. Sure, met more friends, finally had the experience of slogging for the As so that when my friends and I meet up in future, we would be happy to say that we did manage to get out of some devastating shit-hole experience after all.
But i want to complain. And my excuse is easy: who doesn't remember. I remembered that slogging for the As was indeed the worst thing that happened to me (other than watching myself grow the wrong way over the years). I remembered how much more fun 2003 was compared to 2004 and venus williams had a much better season in 2003 than this year. Damn everything must count if i wish my life to be balanced.
Oh wells. Those were bullshit. Im complaining because im afraid that my theory in which friends are everlasting may not see much daylight. Up till now i only have some of my SJI pals and grace to count for. But yet i met so much more in 2003. Council, my class, people i didnt know but i still liked, people i didnt know but i just liked to make fun of in-regardless of the irony, seeing margret in her old uniform in which we believe really have larger poker dots, more teachers that i hated to make me sure i would not want to end up like them, teachers that didn't even teach me but i liked (the irony again). Well, life's wired up. It really is. 2003, good. 2004, bad. 2046 the movie, really, really bad.
And then 2005. When i think the big 5 i do not associate it with the toto draw tickets anymore. I now see the whole thing as i gamble i took when i realised i just did not start studying early enough for my stupid stupid exam. And my prize earnings would be out soon. For the first time, im scared. Shit.
No matter. Grad. night's coming and so is the idol final. I hope Taufik will win so that i can safely link myself to him through Saleha tt auntie trotters haha. Personal connections is much better than tt damn friendster trust me. I miss tennis. I miss life without the anxiety. I already miss my close friends. I want to start writing again. I want to sing for happiness, not to chase any blues. I want to read. I want to do what i do. I want life.
Written fashion may not be history @1:05 AM
